As I unpack my dream!!!

                                 I was at my office when I received a message that said my ordered pair of "Ghungroo" will arrive today. I was overwhelmingly happy. It was always a dream to start over.Though I was not a frequent performer never was I reluctant to grab the few opportunities that came my way.I have always rejoiced at the way my feet worked on the ground when my mind floated among the clouds. I forget my worries, I forget my nullity, I forget myself. That's what is special being a dancer....it made me embrace the world as it is....with all that imperfections and wild exuberance. Thoughts flashed.... the realization struck. I have changed...changed for some reason. I am not the person  I was. Oh yeah!! those thoughts... They eat me always, but this time they brought tears to my eyes. I kept my phone aside, wiped off the tears and continued my work. 

                             It was almost 5:00 in the evening when I reached back home. There waited a parcel, packed carelessly and thrown to the ground with some carefree demeanour.....just like my shattered dreams, there laid my ghungroo orphaned. Without much thought I hid it under the drape of my saree and quickly got inside.

                                To my husband, goggling at the computer I said with amazement about my new pair of ghungroo. For him it was not a meaty piece of information. Something else mocked in his head, he asked, "How much does this cost?" I went mute. I opened my mouth to say something, but on second thoughts I let it dissolve. It was then my daughter who came running. As if spilling the beans, I talked in a blue streak, "See, what I have got" and extended the pack. She stood silent..neither did she looked to my hands nor did she give a smile. She ran out throwing her bag carelessly to meet her friends. My daughter, she's too bubbly..,I chuckled.

                                 It was time for a hot cup of tea and snack. I put the parcel aside and walked to the kitchen. I felt my heart heavy. But I didn't bother to think about it.

                                Sitting infront of  served tea and snack...like a child.....I waited to get some words of approval or appreciation from my husband. He talked about nothing but falling stock rates and tense market conditions. I felt so lonely deep inside my heart. Questions popped up. But my heart won over my brain in the race for answers. I hid the sudden outburst of tears and got up silently collecting the cups and plates and walked towards the kitchen. Yes, dancers are good at controlling emotions and putting a fake one on face if the story  is in demand for it.

                                 Getting things done, I walked to my room with the parcel. Though my excitement had disparaged I ran hands over the parcel to tear it open, yes to tear open the dreams that remained packed for years. "Maaamaaaaa....." my daughter called out. "Help me out with this home work please!" she shouted. Changing priorities.....!!!!I remembered what my mother said.I forced my mind to shuffle and rearrange the priority list which I have been doing for the past 5 years. The wait is not yet over. I put the packet aside and walked to my daughter's room. She was all ready with books and pencil. I took her through the magical world of stories. She was Cindrella.. I was her Stepmother...She was Thumbelina ...I was that Toad!!!....Ahh!!! the plays didn't go as mad as expected. I saw a rewarding smile in her face. It is often overlooked in the aspect of dance training..character helps dancers to gain deeper understanding of the story. Portraying a character convincingly without the boosting of music is the sign of a versatile dancer. I can get a pass mark on that, I thought.

                                      I have never been this busy before....may be it's just a feeling. It was 10:00 at night when I got time to breathe. I didn't even bother to wipe off my sweat. With all eagerness I tore open the packet. The pair of ghungroos fell on my lap. Cling!!!! I took it with grace and ran hands over the bells beautifully strung together. My heart lightened. I tied them above my ankles and stood still for a second. I made small steps....poses....and danced. There was no one to see my performance that night. I didn't want to bother my daughter or my husband who were already asleep.  And I danced.....The walls and the paintings on them became  silent witnesses. Yes...witnessing the performance of an unfortunate dancer.

                                                                       ♡♡♡